Monday, May 11, 2009


Huh- I just typed sturr rather than stuff up there. I wonder what sturr is- sounds kind of like a Vulcan name but I promise I am not going to be all trekky geeky in this post. Except I just was , wasn't I? Tough.

There is an excellent article on Chronic Depression by Essayist Daphne Merkin in the Sunday NY Times Magazine this week. It made me start looking at blogs about Depression and by people with Depression and I found plenty- one or two that were extremely funny. I often think that people with Depression tend to be unusually funny anyway- I am not sure why that is but from my own very anecdotal experience I would tend to think 'tis true.

Anyhow, I found this list of things *NOT* to say to people with depression and I have to say that I have had every single one of them leveled at me on various occasions. I stole the list from here These may be helpful to anyone who has a family member or friend who has battled with the demon that is Depression:

Don't Say This Crap
“This is what life is like. Get used to it.”
“Life isn’t meant to be easy.”
“Just snap out of it!”
“Pull yourself together.”
“Who said that life is fair?”
“You just have to get on with things.”
“At least it’s not that bad.”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
“You have so many things. What do you have to feel down about?”
“You just need to cheer up.”
“Quit trying to be a martyr.”
“Stop taking all those medicines.”
“I know how you feel. I’ve been depressed for whole days at a time.”
“You don’t like feeling that way? So change it!”
“What you need is a good kick up the backside.”
“Go out and buy yourself some clothes. That will pick you up.”
“Are you sure you don’t have a mental problem?”
“How about I cook you a good meal. That will make things better.”
“Have you tried acupuncture?”
“Get a job!”
And the all time best:
“Why don’t you try not being depressed.”


So don't say any of that shit. However, you might want to try some of these

Anyhow.... The house is full of people again, which I like. Both girls were home for the weekend and their significant others dropped in and out and it was all good. And now I have this small dog who is whining to go out and play so I shall do that. Right now.


Snowbrush said...

"I have this small dog who is whining to go out and play so I shall do that. Right now."

Oh, great, now you're putting your dog ahead of your loyal readers. Jeez. Think I'll go brush my teeth.

only a movie said...

Such a great post (if you get me saying that twice it's because blogger just did a weird hiccup thing).

You rock.


Ronda Laveen said...

While I was waiting for my doctor to come into the treatment room a couple of weeks ago, I was reading one of his "waiting room" mags. It was a really good article on the "depression gene" and looking at your family tree. You are not likely the first person in your family to exhibit this behavior. It most likely developed who knows how far back and come down the line to lucky you.

I'm sure this doesn't help ease your immediate problem but maybe seeing that you are a recipient rather than the creator of this trait will provide a different view.

My sister has depression. After reading this article, I thought long and hard about our immediate family since I don't know alot about previous generations. My father had to have had this gene. In retrosepct, I see the signs. I believe she received this gene from him.

Does this change anything. No. But at least it starts to make a little sense.

crone51 said...

Snowbrush- sorry, but Reggie The Dog might kill me if I don't obey his every whim. He is small but mighty.

Only A Movie- I don't rock all that much. I stole most of the content.

Ronda- yep- runs, or should I say ,*gallops*, in our family. I am glad to see that neither of my kids seems to have the trait- so far!

we_be_toys said...

Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Never keep a whining dog waiting, so say Confucious.

I find it best to not talk to people when I'm in the dank, dark hole of depression. Maybe that's not healthy, but I kind of think it is, seeing as how folks can never resist saying heinous shit to you when you're in the thick of it. Consider the random crap advice pregnant mothers get.

Oh, and in answer to your query about Ursula LeGuin, I've read all her fantasy books, not sure about the hard Sci-Fi though. Not a huge fan of true Science Fiction, because it's so technically oriented. I tend to lean more towards Bradbury in that category,because his language is sublime, but if anyone could get close to him, it would Ursula.

crone51 said...

We- Be - Toys-Ah, I recommend The Lathe of Heaven then- I guess it would qualify as SF rather than fantasy but actually in inhabits some grey area in the middle...

I love Bradbury. And I tend to like idea oriented SF rather than ones that are more about the specs of various space ships....

Agree with you about the not talking to folks during depression - It certainly doesn't get me anywhere. I tend to hibernate.